On another note, I just finished my first and hopefully only semester at Santa Barbara City College. I have mixed feelings about this experience. I enjoyed being on a campus that had the full spectrum of what you would experience from college. Huge library. A sprawling campus that overlooks the ocean. A wide variety of classes to fulfill your every interest such as: green building, culinary arts, hospitality, a strong marketing program, a diverse art department, a hospitality program, a mini Brooks photography program ect. The possibilities on this campus are endless, and I appreciate that. However, I have become quite accustomed to our session system at Brooks Institute. You're in and out in 7 weeks. It's over before you realize just what hit you and the sleep deprivation has it's rewards much more quickly. SBCC works like most other community colleges on the semester schedule. It nearly killed me. I give many props to the people who attempt this on a regular basis. My attention span was tested. Yet, I prevailed.
I look forward to returning to Brooks with two additional classes under my belt. For 2011 I will present my game face. I am determined to transfer into graduate status by the end of the year. When that moment arrives, I can only imagine that I would feel as if a huge weight is lifted from my shoulders.
Sometimes I have moments of doubt. I question myself. I question my priorities and my motives. As far as my degree is concerned, many would argue that you don't need a B.A in Professional Photography to be a noteworthy photographer. I would argue this too. Sometimes I do. On occasion I ask myself why I take on what I do and if it's even possible. I ask myself why I need this degree to go out and attempt to conquer the world?
If it came to that point where I knew without a doubt that I would not be able to do what I need to do to finish this godforsaken expensive school that I love and found refuge and passion in, I would throw in the towel and give thanks for the challenging run. At this moment, I feel that if I stay focused this degree is within my reach.
And my reasons for needing this degree? If I'm honest with myself, I know that this is one of the most important things to accomplish in my life. I have dreamed about going to college to get a degree since I was a little girl. My teachers were always telling me that I had talent and potential and after awhile I started believing them and believing that I would do great things. For awhile, I lost that in me. I lost the desire to do great things and I mostly felt lost. The older I get, the more I try to grasp on to my childhood aspirations. Since I have been dreaming about that degree for much of my life, I know it's something that I need to do for me.
So, here is to the final stretch. I will cherish these last classes at Brooks. I have a feeling that someday I will look back to this time in my life os one of the best.
It's going to take a whole lot of positive thinking.
I really need to write more on this blog so that I don't bombard one post.
Isn't this image beautiful? Not mine. Such possibilities....©Tom Chambers
