Finals week

It's finals week. This means that I am one high stressed girl running like a chicken without a head. Just. Breathe....

I shot my first wedding this weekend. So glad I have that under my belt. What a relief. I couldn't have asked for a more patient and willing bride and groom. I couldn't have asked for better weather. I couldn't have asked for more perfect lighting environments. I couldn't have asked for a better state of mind, given the circumstance. I did this shoot with no sleep. I clocked out of work at 7am, drove to Riverside and was shooting by 10am. I shot the wedding and afterwards drove straight to Santa Barbara. I had time to take a shower, and then headed to work by 11pm. Needless to say, I was a zombie. But I survived and was able to accomplish everything I had planned for the day, and I am so grateful. I always make it work, somehow.

What a beautiful little wedding. The images from the wedding keep distracting me from editing my pictures for school!

K. Time to get to work. Here is a little preview..

Summerland

Natalie and I visited this cafe for some lunch. Very cool place that was built in the late 1800's. I guess I didn't realize Summerland was that old. While there, we made a list of all the things we haven't done in Santa Barbara that we need to do before her upcoming graduation. Just talking about it made us cry. While it makes me very sad that two of my best friends will be leaving home soon, I have to be joyful that they are both accomplishing what we all set out to do. Time to move on to the next stage and develop their careers in the photography industry.

Afterwards, we visited this antique shop. I think the cheapest thing I saw was priced at $300. Beautiful items, but very expensive.

Crunch time..

So, I have about 10 days until all of my assignments are due for school. Yikes! I need to start shooting like a madman. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Hopefully....

I visited my family on Monday! It was much needed. I cooked a salmon, rice and veggie dinner for everyone. Mind you, when I first moved away from Riverside I wasn't completely certain how to boil an egg. Ive made great strides in my self-efficiency arena. I actually really enjoy cooking now. Who would have ever imagined that. I remember a time when a common argument with my grandmother went something like this:

her: "Mija, when are you going to learn how to cook?"

me: "Never."

her: "Mija, what about when you get married? You'll have to cook for your husband!"

me: "Abuelita, the times are different now. My husband is going to cook for ME!"

She usually shook her head in disaproval at my response. I hope she is proud of me.

My trip home made me a bit more homesick. I can't wait to be done with school so that I can be close to the ones I love and start my farm :)

I dont get to see my niece, Elena, enough. She is growning to fast. She will be 1 year this August. She is such a beauty. She is very observant. I look forward to watching her grow..

A day of exploration

Pat and I have been on a bike hunt. I know, I know. We already have pretty beach cruisers. The truth of the matter is that we dont cruise the beach all too often. Using them as commuter bikes is tiresome. So, we are on the prowl for road bikes. Pat bought one today in Solvang. It is about 40 minutes north of Santa Barbara and is a nice scenic drive along the coast. Solvang itself is a little destination spot with interesting architecture. While there we did some wine tasting! It was our first wine tasting experience. Im glad we did it on a whim. Pat doesn't even really like wine, but didn't complain one bit. Oh, how I love him.

Here are are soon to be ex bikes. RIP. I shall miss your beauty

Now, before our little adventure I had to take care of some business for school. It involved documentation that I visited an art museum. Since Santa Barbara has it's very own art museum with free admission, it seemed the practical choice. Pat was a little upset at some of statues. I'll let you guess which ones bothered him most :)

Overall, a very good day. I woke up grumpy for a graveyard shift due to lack of sleep, but these pictures made me happy again.

That feeling..

Do you ever get that overwhelmed feeling? The kind that keeps you up and makes you feel like there aren't enough hours in the day, not enough money in your bank account, not enough quality time with people who matter most?

I wish I can get away from Santa Barbara to spend quality time with my family. I want to let them know that they are always on my mind. I wish I was more successful NOW so that I can lend my support. I fear I will never meet my own expectations.

I am trying to remind myself that I just need to take in one. day. at. a time.

Staying in school has been a financial struggle and starting next session, it is only going to get worse.

I wish I had a money tree.

So, a content sleep evades me as I try to make my dreams come true.

Here is my progress:

Updating my website as I type this.

Advertising underway.

Fresh new Craigslist ad

New lens to awe

refreshed self determination

Must. Stay. Focussed.

I thank God for Patrick. He is like my safety blanket. At the risk of making a strange comparison, the comfort I feel from my mother is similar to what I feel with him. It's the feeling of home. And he consoles me when I freak out over the smallest of things.

Tomorrow I shall go running. When I run, I feel all of the stress toxins leave my body and I am a better me.

I am totally happy about a new lens, mostly because the depth of field is awesome. I tested it on the most random things, like :

See how the background isn't distracting? I'm in love.

Goals Goals Goals

My business has to get going. This is what I have decided. It's all dependent on my self motivation. Continuing my education my not be in my future due to finances, which is fine with me. I am grateful for everything I was exposed to at Brooks, and know that I would have never had such a good foundation had it not been for Brooks.

So, game face is on. I need to do at least one thing daily to promote the development of my business.

First thing on my agenda: update website.

ugh..

Whats wrong with me?

For the last 3 weeks I have been running like a madman. 4-6 miles at least 5 times a week. Eating very low fat and healthy. And I gain weight? Oh, depression. Stay away. It frustrates me. I work so hard at trying to be good to my body and it reacts as if I'm living with unhealthy habits.

This week I was in a rut after I weighed myself. I cried and moped around for a good 2 days. I didn't run. I just figured, what is the fucking point?

But my dark cloud is starting to lift again. And I have realized that I just have to stay determined to stay healthy and live healthy. The alternative is not on option if I want to live a full life. i just wish my weight goals did not have to be such a center of my life for so damned long.

But, alas. Here I am. I will conquer you, health. Just as I conquer everything else. I just need to stay positive.