Why is it when things are good, they are really good? Two weeks ago I was on a part time work prowl and interviewing for jobs that really do not interest me and would not help me accomplish my goals. Miserable time. Macys? State farm? Acai Bowl? I'm sure I'm missing a couple. Im glad that:
a) they didn't want me
b) I didn't follow through even though I felt desperate for second job
c) I'm addicted to craigslist
In this week I was able to land part time work with a wedding photography company and also landed a long term paid internship with a fine art photography gallery. I am so excited for both and feel very lucky to have been chosen. Over 100 people applied for the internship for the art galley and myself and one other person were chosen. I am very excited for it because I'll be surrounded by inspiring images and learn how to run a gallery.
Life is good. I am going to be a busy girl but I feel fortunate to have these opportunities.
email:patricia@pjmimages.com
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
....
Once upon a time I wanted to be a writer. I used to write poetry on a daily basis. I was just thinking about that time in my life and wanted to delve into that thought I guess. I remember I used to find my words easily and I gained some satisfaction from creating this little world of mine with words. Finding a way to intertwine thoughts of life into one piece of work. I think thats why I appreciate music so much and I still sometimes envy their ability to express thoughts and experiences and stories so eloquently. I don't doubt my chosen path, but I still get the writing itch and it just doesn't come as easily anymore. And most of the time my mind is on work, school, chores or my stress and I don't feel all too poetic about that. Maybe I should.
Sometimes things that I watch trigger my need to write. I was watching democracynow.org the other day and there was a guest that really moved me. She is an activist for the women victims in the Congo. For those unaware, there is much unrest and brutality in that region. Rapes are commonplace and little is being done about it. Soldiers will often rape the women in entire villages and in public. Some of them children as young as 5. These soldiers have been told that in order to win the war that they are fighting, they must have sex with women to make the "magic potion" work. Since they don't really have access to women on a regular basis, well, they must rape. They are doing it for the good of their country. Unbelievable. It really saddens me and also makes me question this world we live in.
This women who was speaking gave a heartfelt plea for people to become more aware of these women who are still enduring such atrocities. She spoke of how she went to the white house to speak with Michelle Obama to help her with having a voice to support these women and the response given was that this was not the First Lady's forte and that she was focusing on obesity. This women who was speaking is also a cancer patient and maintains that these women in the Congo are keeping her alive because she feels that she must stay alive for them. She says this with tears in her eyes.
It just moved me. The compassion. That true connection with other people who you perhaps would never relate to but do because they are human and living in this world too. That realization that things could be much worse than how you have it and that you have the ability to change someone's life in a positive way.
Suffice to say, it was a moving plea. And it reminded me that one of the most important things in life is to be good to those around you. Anyhoo, after watching it I was inspired to write and so I did. This is a lengthly post. :)
The atrocities are great
And seemingly never ending
and the people are waiting
waiting for us to take notice
and take on inadequacies with raised fists
and make noise with protest
and cry out in the name if unrest
and stomp our feet with anger
and push forward despite danger
and demand justice
and shout ‘we will not accept this!’
and create real change
not just that slogan that seems so far out of range
and the people, they need our tears too
and open hearts to be witness
to all that they have been through
and the people, no matter the color
No matter the religion
No matter sexual orientation
No matter the borders
Just want to be done with this rat race
The people just want to be free
To live, love, and be
Sometimes things that I watch trigger my need to write. I was watching democracynow.org the other day and there was a guest that really moved me. She is an activist for the women victims in the Congo. For those unaware, there is much unrest and brutality in that region. Rapes are commonplace and little is being done about it. Soldiers will often rape the women in entire villages and in public. Some of them children as young as 5. These soldiers have been told that in order to win the war that they are fighting, they must have sex with women to make the "magic potion" work. Since they don't really have access to women on a regular basis, well, they must rape. They are doing it for the good of their country. Unbelievable. It really saddens me and also makes me question this world we live in.
This women who was speaking gave a heartfelt plea for people to become more aware of these women who are still enduring such atrocities. She spoke of how she went to the white house to speak with Michelle Obama to help her with having a voice to support these women and the response given was that this was not the First Lady's forte and that she was focusing on obesity. This women who was speaking is also a cancer patient and maintains that these women in the Congo are keeping her alive because she feels that she must stay alive for them. She says this with tears in her eyes.
It just moved me. The compassion. That true connection with other people who you perhaps would never relate to but do because they are human and living in this world too. That realization that things could be much worse than how you have it and that you have the ability to change someone's life in a positive way.
Suffice to say, it was a moving plea. And it reminded me that one of the most important things in life is to be good to those around you. Anyhoo, after watching it I was inspired to write and so I did. This is a lengthly post. :)
The atrocities are great
And seemingly never ending
and the people are waiting
waiting for us to take notice
and take on inadequacies with raised fists
and make noise with protest
and cry out in the name if unrest
and stomp our feet with anger
and push forward despite danger
and demand justice
and shout ‘we will not accept this!’
and create real change
not just that slogan that seems so far out of range
and the people, they need our tears too
and open hearts to be witness
to all that they have been through
and the people, no matter the color
No matter the religion
No matter sexual orientation
No matter the borders
Just want to be done with this rat race
The people just want to be free
To live, love, and be
Monday, August 30, 2010
Graduation
Today was the day. Graduation day for the class I started with. Dwindled down to about 1/4 of what we started off with. I think I was way too tired from the graveyard shift to be there. I wanted to cry for every. little. thing. I am very proud of all of them, and I hope they are all proud of themselves. So much hard work. So much soul poured into photos. So many details and deadlines and fuck ups and triumphs.
Nat and Dom, I will miss you dearly. You have been my family. My rocks. My counselors. My home from home. Too weird to think of Santa Barbara without you. Thank you for your friendship. You have a piece of my heart forever.
I am very grateful to have Pat here with me. Now he alone will have to encounter my meltdowns. I think he will get more photography talk too. Today I tried to explain what a HDR photo was while somewhat intoxicated
"Babe, it means high dynamic range. Its when there is a large range of exposures. The highlights are high while the shadows are deep. Alot of contrast."
I think I have to get better at explaining cuz even while saying it I was thinking, what the fuck am I saying?
I just cant help but feel sad today. I'll get over it, but it will be an unwanted adjustment. In an ideal world I would have graduated today too. But, this isn't my ideal world, so I'll just have to keep truckin. I'll find a way to graduation too.
Nat and Dom, I will miss you dearly. You have been my family. My rocks. My counselors. My home from home. Too weird to think of Santa Barbara without you. Thank you for your friendship. You have a piece of my heart forever.
I am very grateful to have Pat here with me. Now he alone will have to encounter my meltdowns. I think he will get more photography talk too. Today I tried to explain what a HDR photo was while somewhat intoxicated
"Babe, it means high dynamic range. Its when there is a large range of exposures. The highlights are high while the shadows are deep. Alot of contrast."
I think I have to get better at explaining cuz even while saying it I was thinking, what the fuck am I saying?
I just cant help but feel sad today. I'll get over it, but it will be an unwanted adjustment. In an ideal world I would have graduated today too. But, this isn't my ideal world, so I'll just have to keep truckin. I'll find a way to graduation too.
Friday, August 27, 2010
Finished!
I have been missing in action! I am officially done with my ADV311 class. I am soooo glad its over. It was fast paced, but worth it. I started the city college in Santa Barbara this week and it nearly killed me since its finals week at brooks. I was a mess. A tired mess. But I survived and now I am going staight into work mode with my new school. This is only temporary. Since I pay for my tution out of pocket and it isnt exactly inexpensive, I am taking some time off to save up for the final stretch of school. While I'm on break I am going to be taking a couple of classes at the city college that will transfer over to brooks and take care of my general education requirements. That makes me feel better. I HATE taking breaks from school only because I feel unproductive and it makes me feel like graduation is that much further away.
Today our teacher, Paul Myer, gave a lecture on the importance of photography internships. In the back of my mind I am thinking, when am I gonna find the fucking time? I have to figure something out.
I turned 26 recently. Im getting old. But I am pretty happy with where my life is at. I am more focused than I have ever been. I've found a career path that I love. And I have a boyfriend that I love more than I can describe. Life is good.
Today our teacher, Paul Myer, gave a lecture on the importance of photography internships. In the back of my mind I am thinking, when am I gonna find the fucking time? I have to figure something out.
I turned 26 recently. Im getting old. But I am pretty happy with where my life is at. I am more focused than I have ever been. I've found a career path that I love. And I have a boyfriend that I love more than I can describe. Life is good.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Fiesta!
It's fiesta time here in Santa Barbara. I remember when I first moved here my roommate, Jennifer and I stumbled across it by accident. Santa Barbara turns into a big party with spanish food, music, art, and drinks ;) We had way too much fun. I pretended that I spoke spanish the entire night! That was over 3 years ago. This year, its all work. I'm working at Hotel Santa Barbara right now. It's nearly 2am and I can still hear the Mariachi band playing outside and people hooting and howling. Is it weird that I have no desire to be part of it? Im getting old. Old and boring.
I had a job interview today. I think it's gonna work out. I'll be working for a developing company here in Santa Barbara as their main photographer. It will be part time, but it sounds like I will get to do many different types of photography. Events. Products. People. We shall see how this goes.
3 weeks left of this session. How did the time go so bloody fast? That much closer to graduation.
I had a job interview today. I think it's gonna work out. I'll be working for a developing company here in Santa Barbara as their main photographer. It will be part time, but it sounds like I will get to do many different types of photography. Events. Products. People. We shall see how this goes.
3 weeks left of this session. How did the time go so bloody fast? That much closer to graduation.
Monday, August 2, 2010
A little breather..
Today was a good day. Just me and my love and the beach. This week has been a strenuous one. I've been stressing more than I should be but I feel it is unavoidable. I wish I had the capacity to let go and not be such a control freak because, well I can't control everything. I just need to learn to ride things out and leave it up to time. I know this all sounds vague, but it applies to many things on my mind right now. School. Work. Finances. Family. Photography. Health. I had a little breakdown on thursday after my 6 hour class. I dont know why critique made me so damn anxious or why it made me feel so miserable. It all came tumbling down when I went to Natalie and Dominic's house after the class ended and we started talking about the day and the tears just came pouring down.
I felt silly and couldn't quite place why I was crying. Do you ever have those moments? Maybe not. This is the crybaby in me, I think. I just felt frustrated and inadequate. Nothing I do is right. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough money. I don't have enough creativity. I don't have enough confidence. At least, this is how I felt on this day in particular. I am very grateful for Natalie and Dominic. They let me cry. They tried to talk me through it. The helped me tremendously this weekend with my shoots. They will always have a special place in my heart as my adopted family while in school. I am so sad they graduate at the end of August and will be leaving me. I will cherish the time that we spent together.
I worked like a madman to get most of my work done early so that I could spend at least one day of leisure with my love. We set up a canopy I recently bought for photography purposes on the beach and it was like our own beachfront room. We made a picnic. Sipped on some wine. Took a couple shots ;) I passed out for three hours in a deep and sound sleep. It was a much needed day. It was a happy day spent with the person who makes me so happy. My best friend. He leaves to Arizona again tomorrow, and tomorrow I go back to the hustle and probably wont get to sleep after the graveyard shift, but I feel that today helped to prepare me for that. Here is one of the pics from this weekends shoot.
I felt silly and couldn't quite place why I was crying. Do you ever have those moments? Maybe not. This is the crybaby in me, I think. I just felt frustrated and inadequate. Nothing I do is right. I don't have enough time. I don't have enough money. I don't have enough creativity. I don't have enough confidence. At least, this is how I felt on this day in particular. I am very grateful for Natalie and Dominic. They let me cry. They tried to talk me through it. The helped me tremendously this weekend with my shoots. They will always have a special place in my heart as my adopted family while in school. I am so sad they graduate at the end of August and will be leaving me. I will cherish the time that we spent together.
I worked like a madman to get most of my work done early so that I could spend at least one day of leisure with my love. We set up a canopy I recently bought for photography purposes on the beach and it was like our own beachfront room. We made a picnic. Sipped on some wine. Took a couple shots ;) I passed out for three hours in a deep and sound sleep. It was a much needed day. It was a happy day spent with the person who makes me so happy. My best friend. He leaves to Arizona again tomorrow, and tomorrow I go back to the hustle and probably wont get to sleep after the graveyard shift, but I feel that today helped to prepare me for that. Here is one of the pics from this weekends shoot.
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